Wangdue Phodrang dzong on fire

24^th June, 2012 marks a very mournful day in the Bhutanese history, especially for the people of Wangdue (Sha dhagay). This very event reminds us of the 9/11 event in the US. People stood still in despair, staring at the Dzong which was under blazing fire. Now,  almost four centuries old Wangdue dzong has burned to ashes, sung into the shadow of fire.

The unuttered voice

We are often moved by someone’s word, but seldom do we take time to give it a second thought. Most of us don’t put down what we actually believe into action. A situation like this often passes by without even being noticed. Today, we find ourselves in a place surrounded with the influx of a new world which is sometimes believed as ‘a better place to be’. We have witnessed many changes, especially in terms of development, taking place in our country like everywhere else in the world. We have trod (still we are) through a path that meanders into an ocean filled with pride for what we have achieved so far. However, it’s unfortunate to say that we have often ignored to see what actually exist along that path. The people residing within that line are ignored and often pushed further into a totally different sphere of existence that that is more of a misery than of a joy. It’s sad, but the definite truth.

On Sunday, the 13^th may, I visited a family in DANTAK area in Kanglung. I was so touched by what I saw and heard from that family. There sat 45 years old an Indian women upon the wooden bench with her dull shack beside her. I went there to carry out an interview for my sociology assessment (energy needs assessment). While I was proceeding with the interview, out of small hut beside the shack came an Indian man, in his 60s perhaps, who turned out to be the husband of the women whom I was interviewing, with a curled lips upon his face. “Can I ask something to you”, the first word that came out of his mouth astonished me for the fact that actually I was supposed to be the one asking the question. “Off course”, I managed to reply. What he asked and told me, indeed, was completely a different story, not even close to my research. I was not only the one who came to them for such interview process before. Actually they are now sick of having some regular college students dropping by, asking few questions. What they needed was a real help, not some interview questions to annoy them further.

Later when I tried to recall what that man told me, it occurred to me that I tried to view the world through his standpoint. For once I thought; let it be because it is none of my business, not at all. Slowly a sort of realization crept upon me remaining me of the fact that we share similar character-the value of humanity. And that’s what urged me to write the issue down with the hope that their prayers be heard by others. “Starting from 2013, none-Bhutanese, in this case regarded as someone from the DANTAK, are not going to get registration into any of higher education institutes within Bhutan”. These words came out of the scraggy husband’s mouth with bloodshot eyes. What now passes through his mind about his children reminds him of his own childhood days, of being deprived of getting a decent education. His dreams are now closed to blow apart like a balloon about to burst with a poke of a needle. “What are my children going to do when they grow up?” is the constant question haunting within him recently. Never before did he experience this moment, most shattering moment, indeed.

I tried to get my self into blogging a couple of times before but I couldn't. However, lately I found the interest within me being rekindled. I never knew the immence pleasure that it held, not until now. Actually, its one of my classmates, Kelzang Dawa, a usual blogger (though his blogging experience is in its early stages) who encouraged me to be a part of blogging culture.

what is my Destiny

At this point of time, I am struck with two contrasting feelings. Part of me waits avidly to bid farewell to this institute of learning (Sherubtse college) already. After staying almost more than two and half years out here all my excitement of being in our country’s oldest, indeed, most popular college has now turned to a dull, inward ache of confusion.

However, part of me gained such a wonderful precedents that I wish i am here for the first time as a fresh high school graduate stepping into this broader sphere of education. Never did I realize how my stay out here in this college, in fact, all these moments has passed in haste, like a smoke disappearing into a distance without being noticed. It has become quite apparent that all those moments are not going to come again in my life, never. They are now a history, a chapter in my life, and I know it cannot be overcome because it’s not a movie where we can rewind the events in my life over and over.

I am now, about to sail upon the meandering rivers beyond which lies a huge ocean filled with competition. I can’t imagine the picture of me standing alone for the first time, trying to navigate through that ocean. I don’t feel any impulse within me, convincing me of being ready to step into the real world; yet, my inner instinct often comforts me with a kind of a luck that I have had, not always but quite often.  

Beyond my small and scraggy world lies another world, encircled by huge stone walls with the only way in through the Iron Gate (RCSC exams), upon which the words “Real World” are engraved.

Even a slightest thought of it haunts me.  I really wonder where am I going to stand in that world. “what is my destiny?”